The Greatest Gift
I really think I would have a hard time telling you when it happened. It feels so long ago now. There came a point in my life that I grew out of loving the idea of getting physical gifts. There are videos somewhere in my childhood home basement of toddler Mike yelling that he always wanted every gift he opened as he pulled it from the tree. Sometimes, he did not even know what it was, but he sure was excited. Other times, it was something Ninja Turtles, and he almost went through the roof.
When the excitement of Christmas and birthday gift receiving faded, I started to see the value in giving people gifts. The next challenge was trying to find the perfect gift. Every year, I would search the deepest corners of stores, and eventually, the darkest corners of the internet for the gift to match the person. I would proudly wrap whatever article of clothing, piece of jewelry, newest book from a favorite author, and place the receipt at the bottom…just in case. I would watch with anticipation as they opened it, and despite their genuine “thank you” that accompanied the smiles of appreciation, something was missing.
The piece that was lacking would not hit me until later. At some point, the clothes stay in the closet, the jewelry comes out for only special occasions, the book finds a shelf (maybe on someone else’s shelf), or worst of all, maybe they used the receipt. There was no meaning or value still attached.
So I started to ask myself what is a gift that has value? And it was after a weekend that I spent with my Father in Philadelphia watching the Phillies play that I found the elusive answer. We went on the field, met players, watched two games (no idea if they were wins or losses), ate a ton, and laughed nonstop. The morning we went our separate ways, he said something that I will never forget: “Thank you so much for spending that time. It brought me back to when you were younger.”
The answer to my question is something we all have, albeit in limited supply: Time. I never thought of it before, but the gifts I appreciated most throughout my life came with time. My parents coming to every game in which I played after they had worked full days. The endless phone calls with my best friend as we grew up through grade school and high school. The random trips to get food with my best friends late into the night. A road trip to Florida with two college roommates. Car rides with my wife to see our friends or families. The simple catchup in a parking lot of a gas station or conversation in a Target were still the gifts of time. They all meant something.
We have all heard someone spill the words, “I wish there was more time in the day.” The statement in itself screams how valuable a gift it is. There will always be more books, someone will create a new line of clothes that I am too old to look cool in now, and diamonds will find their ways into stores for the rest of our lives. Time is not renewable. Allowing someone to have our time is truly the most selfless and greatest gift we can provide. In knowing that we can’t get it back, we are giving a piece of our lives entirely to someone else.
Consider this. We have more distractions today than we have ever encountered. Phones attached to our hands as if they are simply part of the appendage. Social media obsessions that connect us to our loved ones and the heroes we might never meet. You have children and their lives to balance. Whether it is your family, a friend, a student, colleague, or stranger sitting alone for a meal, or yourself disconnecting from these distractions and giving the gift of time is so rare and coveted.
The value we give to someone by giving them our time is inimitable. When we are all in a moment with another person, they feel as though they matter. There is nothing that holds a candle to our true presence. Just being in the room is not enough. Dedicate yourself to the actual gift of time. Enjoy each second of this memory that you are creating. Those memories are non-refundable. The time can’t be returned to the store for a different color.
I miss my Grandpop every day. He gave all of us so much of his time. The stories that I heard, the laughs we shared, and the time we spent in the same booth at the diner up the road were immeasurable. So now I try to create those same memories with all of the people I love. My father and I took a trip to Baton Rouge to see a football game last November, something on his bucket list. We ate foods that I did not know existed, we watched an incredible game, and just enjoyed being around one another.
The gift of time. It does not need to be a grand gesture. Could be a visit to their office or classroom. For a student, it could be the offer to eat lunch with you in the classroom. For a family member or friend you have not spoken to in awhile, it could be the simple phone call or FaceTime. The gift of time. It is our most precious commodity. Its limitations haunt us, but provide significance beyond our understanding when we give it away with pure intentions.
And please do not forget to dedicate some time to you. I would be remiss if I did not encourage you to dedicate some of this time back to yourself. There is nothing wrong with recharging to your batteries in order to give to others. While it is important to remember the gift of time for the people you love, it might be even more important to dedicate some time to the parts of life that bring you joy. Do the workout. Take the walk. Pick those flowers. Go for the run. Read the book. Get the mani-pedi. Go have dinner with yourself. Take the bubble bath. Gift yourself this gift as well. You can’t pour time into others if your own bank account is empty.
My challenge to you is think about the people you cherish most (including yourself). Have you given them the gift of your time? Have you allowed others to gift you their own time? When you are with someone, are you entirely in the moment or are there distractions pulling you away from them? Remember that these are moments that you don’t get back. They are seconds your loved ones can’t exchange. Make it worth it. Make it a memory that will implant itself in your brain for the rest of time.
Make it the greatest gift a person can receive.
Much Love,
Mike
